Playing The Cards We’re Dealt

Playing The Cards We’re Dealt

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” ~ Randy Pausch
Discarded Playing Cards, Paul Street, Stratford 06-05-2006Photo credit: DG Jones

Two weeks ago, I attended two funerals for two young friends under the age of 34. Both gentlemen passed away suddenly and left behind many broken hearts and dear friends. They lived completely different lives but left the same lesson—life is about choices.

You’ve heard the clichéd expression that life is a rollercoaster. Life gives you lemons. Life is like a box of chocolates, and on and on. Well, it’s true. Life truly is an unpredictable journey. One minute we’re caught up in work drama, the latest hair style, and laughing about reality TV. The next minute, the stop sign flashes red, and we’re facing life-changing challenges, all based on the cards we’re dealt.

You may have different beliefs, and that’s fine. In the crazy little world within my head, I picture angels—wise, cunning beings that are either good or bad–surrounded around a card table. One plucks a card and deals your faith. We can either choose to push through obstacles (with lots of prayers) or fall, arms outstretched, into a path of destruction.

Our choices aren’t always perfect, but our best bet would be to think about what we want to leave behind. Yes, this is the Oprah moment. Seriously, this lesson was driven home the moment after I left one of the funerals. I strolled away with my SO (significant other) in hand and smiled. This was the very first time I’ve ever felt happy after a funeral. I felt good because of the mark this young man left. It was evident by the words that were spoken of him and attendance of young boys in which he coached and hundreds of friends and family members who all spoke well of him. In the brief time that I knew him, I already knew that he was a good person. How many people can you say that about?

It’s all about these moments, your legacy. Make the best choices that you can while you’re given the opportunity and time to do so. Roll the dice when you need to. Fold or pass whenever you feel it’s right. Do not cheat. Keep a poker face when needed rather than being overpowered by emotions. Play by some rules while breaking others. Know it’s okay to lose and celebrate winning. Most of all, don’t just be … live.

CurlSpotting: America’s Next Top Curly Girl

CurlSpotting: America’s Next Top Curly Girl

Nastasia Scott, curly girl from America’s Next Top Model’s Cycle 19

I told myself I was done with it. I wouldn’t watch it again. Super sweet Nigel Barker and The J’s (Jay Manuel and J. Alexander) are gone, and I’m a bit exhausted by its predicable format and over the top antics. I’ve got the smize down pat and know how to look fiiiiierce (waves pointer finger in the air like a diva drag queen). Yet, when my DVR dutifully taped the first episode of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 19, I tuned in. Why the 19th season? Spotted! There’s a curlie on the scene.

Nastasia-Scott3

Above: Nastasia Scott

Her name is Nastasia Scott, and she is representing East Stroudsburg University in what is known as Top Model’s college and social media edition. The minute the camera panned in on Nastasia, I was drawn to her allure. It wasn’t her catwalk or runway physique. It was all about her curly mane. Long, luscious, caramel-coated locks cascade from her head, reminiscent of Gabrielle Kniery from Cycle 14. Oh, and she worked it. In her photo shoots, Nastasia flipped her curls from side to side as she posed … and popped and locked it. Yes, she literally did. There goes that Top Model mayhem again.

Gabrielle Kniery from Top Model Cycle 14. I’ve loved her hair for a long time now. Photo Credit: Jonathan Mannion/Pottle Productions Inc/The CW

I just wonder if during the makeover episode, Tyra will subject Nastasia to some dramatic overhaul involving a stylist’s crafty cut aka the creative destruction of her hair for dramatic effect. In recent years, the show’s makeovers have gotten better, with Tyra fessing up to her hairdressers’ tragic work and even redoing competitors’ hair. She’s pulled back from the formulaic decisions to chop long locks, weave shorter ‘dos, and straighten natural curls. Hopefully Nastasia can escape with some lowlights and her length and curls intact.

It’s too early to decipher her personality, but she has potential to win and it would be the first time we’ve had a naturally curly winner in a while. Eva Pigford (Cycle 3) won the first title, but we’ve yet to see bountiful curls. Regardless, curlies Yaya Dacosta (Cycle 3), Bre Scullark (Cycle 5), and Nik Pace (Cycle 5) are naturally curly winners in my head and everlasting hair idols.

Much like American Idol, you can vote for your favorite model during the show … maybe I’ll chime in. For now, let’s keep an eye open for this curly girl and watch how this season unfolds together. Follow me on Twitter for updates and more musings, using #topcurly (as seen in the picture below).

Tangle Tamer: A Review of Beautiful Textures’ Leave-in Conditioner

Tangle Tamer: A Review of Beautiful Textures’ Leave-in Conditioner

Beautiful Textures Tangle Taming Leave-in ConditionerPop! Bounce! Sway! That’s the sound of my tresses doing their dance the minute they’re caressed by Beautiful Textures Tangle Taming Leave-in Conditioner. I have used this leave-in consistently for the last month, and … I am a fan of this product!  Attention! Attention! Here lies a product that actually lives up to its promise. Yes, curlies. We have lift-off.

Here’s the rundown. A few months ago, I discovered Beautiful Textures on a trip to one of my go-to beauty supply stores (BBS). I entered the store with the intention of purchasing my previous staple, Silicon Mix’s Leave-in Conditioner. I turned the corner toward the Dominican section. You know the aisle with Lacio Lacio, La Bomba, and the other major Dominican players?

Well, on my way towards that area, I heard audio coming from another aisle. I walked over and was nearly blinded by a sea of bright yellow and orange. The colorful packaging of Beautiful Textures’ entire product line was on display, accompanied by a looping video of apparent biracial women swinging their pretty curly manes (some curls looked much better than the others that were featured).

Why biracial babes? Beautiful Textures is marketed as being “for mixed textures,” which made me pause and question if any of the products would work for tighter textures like my own. I also questioned the quality of the packaging and some of the model’s hair, but that lasted for a minute, as my curiosity and product junkism reared its ugly head again. Within a few seconds of scanning the product line, I swiped the Tangle Taming Leave-in Conditioner (approximately $6), Curl Control Defining Pudding, and Moisture Butter Whipped Curl Créme—all of which I will review just for you!

Beautiful Textures Moisture Butter Whipped Curl Creme

A preview of my hair with
Beautiful Textures Tangle Taming Leave-in Conditioner and Beautiful Textures Moisture Butter Whipped Curl Creme. Read my review of this butter.

Let’s begin today by focusing on the Tangle Taming Leave-in Conditioner. I’m still surprised to admit that I’m hooked on this bad boy! Yes, I have fallen hard, but I don’t want to be too hasty! I’ve got to let the love affair take its steady course. 😉

Beautiful Textures Tangle Taming Leave-in Conditioner has a thick, creamy consistency, so gauge your application according to your strands. I apply a generous amount to my freshly washed hair, basking in its fruity scent. Not to worry. The smell isn’t overpowering, at least not for me. If it does bother you, take comfort in the fact that it doesn’t linger for long.

The minute the cream touches my hair, it melts into it. I instantly notice a difference. My strands curl and spring into place, easily becoming defined. This isn’t a chemical reaction. Rather, it’s my hair soaking up the yummy goodness that the leave-in provides. The slippage this product gives is amazing. It allows me to easily separate my curls for finger combing and styling. It also works well with my stylers (aloe vera gel included), possibly even enhancing them.

While the distribution is impressive, this tangle tamer clearly nourishes my tresses from the inside out. After using it, my hair is much softer and moisturized compared to other products. In case you don’t already know, naturally curly hair thrives with moisture. Without it, you’ll quickly spiral into the land of hair breakage.

This product is jam packed with oils upon oils as well as aloe vera gel, which my hair loves. Other ingredients include: Aqua, Olea Europaea Fruit Oil/Olive Oil, Argania Spinosa Nut Oil/Argan Oil, Glycine Soja Oil/Soybean Oil, Cocos Nucifera Oil/Coconut Oil, Butyrospermum Parkii Fruit/Shea Butter, Mangifera Indica Seed Butter/Mango Butter, Rosmarinus Officinalis Leaf Extract/Rosemary Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract/Aloe Vera, Dimethicone, Panax Ginseng Root Extract/ Ginseng Extract, Polyquaternium 37, Propylene Glycol Dicaprylate/Dicaprate, Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil, Glycerin, DMDM Hydantoin, Cetearyl Alcohol, Ceteareth 20, Polysorbate 20, Propylene Glycol, Imidazolidinyl Urea, Phenyl Trimethicone, CI 15985/Yellow 6, Parfum/Fragrance, Benzyl Benzoate, Benzyl Salicylate, Coumarin, d-Limonene, Hexyl Cinnamal, Lyral, Methyl Ionone Gamma.
It is free from: paraben and protein.

Beautiful Textures’ product line, as seen at my local beauty supply store. Can you spot the sea of orange, yellow, and blue?

Pull the brakes! If your hair hates oils and aloe vera, sadly, this one may be a no go for you. Stick with whatever product your hair likes best and ignore me … well, just this once! LOL!

I really do hope that someday there will be one miracle product that fits all curlies, and we can skip along together, curls bouncing along into the sunset. Of course, that would mean that all of our curly manes would be the same, and what a boring world that would be!

Beautiful Textures has finally launched its Web site. You can learn more about the product line and catch those videos that piqued some of my interest by visiting: http://www.beautifultextures.com

A Curly Girl’s Essentials

A Curly Girl’s Essentials

My First Photo Shoot: Natural Hair Movement

Photo credit: Remy, The Quill

Updated 8/4/13: This post lists key items to help you maintain your natural hair. Please note that there’s an eBook with the same title, A Curly Girl’s Essentials: A Guide for Navigating Your Curly Mane, that is now available for FREE when you sign up for My Curly Mane’s updates! The eBook includes basic information (including the list below) that will help you attain healthy hair. Subscribe and see!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Back to the deets: The net is bubbling up with information on caring for naturally curly hair. Woo hoo! While there are more resources at our fingertips, it also makes it a bit more difficult to find simple, basic information on how to care for natural hair. I don’t want to confuse you even more, particularly you newbies out there.

Instead, I’m going to break down for you a few essential items that every curly girl needs in her stash. For my easy, breezy minimalist gals, this one’s up your alley! The products for natural hair and tools below are listed in the order in which they’re most likely used.

 

1. Moisturizing & Clarifying Shampoo / Sulfate Free Shampoo

If you are using products (mainly stylers) that contain mineral oil or non-water soluble silicones, you will need to use a shampoo to clarify your curly mane. Mineral oil and silicones can trap moisture within your strands or prevent it from entering your hair shaft. They tend to build up onto your hair, particularly African-American natural hair, and are best removed with shampoos.

Typically, shampoos contain sodium lauryl sulfate, a detergent that creates a foamy lather and strips hair of its natural oils.  Frequent shampooing dries out our curly manes, making them susceptible to breakage. Unless your hair is naturally oily, please shampoo minimally. Your best bet is to purchase a shampoo that is also moisturizing.

If you’re following Lorraine Massey’s Curly Girl Method (Curly Girl: The Handbook) aka the noo poo (no shampoo)/co-washing (conditioner washing) method, there may be times in which your curly natural hair is over moisturized. Yep, would you believe that one? Hair that is holding too much moisture will be limp. If you fall under this category, use a sulfate free shampoo to clarify and help wake up your strands. Just an aside, a protein treatment may help as well.

Recommendations:

Sulfate-free: Miss Jessie’s Crème De La Curl Cleansing Crème and Creme of Nature Moisture & Shine Shampoo with Argan Oil

Moisturizing: Creme of Nature Detangling Ultra Moisturizing Conditioning Shampoo and Dabur Vatika Moisturizing Shampoo with Sweet Almond

 

2. Moisturizing Conditioner

This is a must, especially if you use shampoo. Conditioners help to restore the moisture that shampoos take away. Not to mention, they add necessary slip for detangling tresses. In addition, conditioners can be left in your hair as a styler. This is known as Teri LaFlesh’s Tightly Curly Method. While I haven’t had success with this method, it may prove positive for you.

Recommendation: Herbal Essence’s Hello Hydration

 

3. Leave-in ConditionerBeautiful Textures Tangle Taming Leave-in Conditioner

Another must have! Leave-ins are crucial to many, if not most, curly girls. When used under your styler and sealed with oil (unless your styler contains enough oils), leave-ins keep curly hair moisturized. It also adds definition and reduces frizz.

You can use a regular conditioner as a leave-in, just beware that some conditioners react to stylers and cause white balls to appear on one’s hair. Not all products play together nicely. 😉

Recommendations: I have recently switched from using Avanti Silicon Mix and swear by Beautiful Textures Tangle Taming Leave-in Conditioner. This product is amazing!! Check out my product review.

 

4. Wide Tooth Comb/Detangling Brush

Unless you’re seeking a wickedly neat part, leave your fine tooth combs in the back of your draw. Our tresses need wide tooth combs to easily glide their way through our hair. They are extremely helpful when paired with a moisturizing conditioner to detangle hair in the shower. Some curlies prefer to use a Denman brush or Tangle Teezer. This is particularly helpful if you’re using the Tightly Curly Method mentioned above. I prefer wide-tooth combs, as I’m one of those curlies who get serious shrinkage and lose a lot hair from brushes.

 

5. Oil and/or Butter

Your curly mane may work well with butter, oil … or both! Either one will seal moisture into your strands, literally making your hair feel like butta! This should be included as a step in your wash and go (see my 10 steps for wash and gos). You can also use oil or butter as a heat protectant when straightening. In addition (yes, there’s more!), they can be used nightly to seal in moisture into your hair or help to soften and revive your look in the morning.

Recommendations: Almond Oil, Coconut Oil, Dabur Vatika Coconut Hair Oil, Jojoba Oil,  and Olive Oil

 

6. Styler

Not every girl needs a styler, but this curlie does. Stylers are products that literally help to style your hair. They increase definition, can freeze curls, and can reduce shrinkage. Stylers prevent my hair from completely transforming into a cotton ball. If this is your desired look, then skip it.

Recommendations:  III Sisters of Nature Curly Whip Pudding, Eco Styler Gel, Fantasia IC Olive Oil Style Gel, Fruit of the Earth 100% Aloe Vera Gel, Hair Rules Kinky Curling Cream, and Miss Jessie’s Quick Curls,

 

7. Hair Clips

They aid in styling your hair or can be used as part of your finished looked. Hair clips section your hair as your work through your head. They are particularly helpful as your hair grows longer. It’s either that or invest in more hands!

 

8. Spray Bottle

Water is nature’s moisturizer. It is a curly girls’ best friend. At some point in your regiment, you’ll need a spray bottle to help douse your hair as you style it. If you’re into rewetting your hair throughout the day, a spray bottle will ease the process.

 

9. Satin or Silk Pillowcase/ Scarf/Sleeping Cap

Another must! You can read my information on Nighttime Routines & Sexy Sleeping For Naturals for more details on satin materials. Please note that satin and silk materials do not absorb the moisture in your hair (unlike cotton), preventing your hair from drying out and breaking. Not to mention, it will save you from “bed head.”

 

10. Camera

This is a must for chronicling your curls. Documenting your hair journey through photos or videos will help you to keep track of your routine and hair health. Aside from badgering your friends, how else will you know what’s working for you?

Once you have these items, you’re pretty much set to go. For those of you in pursuit of how to grow natural hair, these items will keep you on course. Of course, if you are seeking additional styling aids, there are tons of other tools (hair dryers, flat irons, etc.) and products in which you can add to your arsenal. Don’t worry. I’ll keep you posted! 😉

Product Battle: Miss Jessie’s vs. III Sisters of Nature

Product Battle: Miss Jessie’s vs. III Sisters of Nature

He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot, will be victorious.” ~ Sun Tzu

With tons of theatrics and a classic performance by the Spice Girls (sadly no signature natural curls by Scary Spice), the summer Olympics came to a close. Sniffle, sniffle. The games will be missed. In honor of all the stellar athletes who inspired and amazed us, I present to you another epic Hair Battle!

On the left, we have Miss Jessie’s Original Curly Pudding. This all-star has been saving many a curlies’ tresses by offering a variety of styling options. Some have regarded it as among the best curly hair products. From spiraling twist-outs to bouncing shingles, this product delivers. According to Miss Jessie’s packaging, “This curl creme was specifically formulated to stretch out and elongate your curls for soft, maximum curl definition. Amazing for natural curls, kinks & waves, finger styling, TWAs, coiling, transitioning, kinky weaves and more. Excellent for combating curl shrinkage!”

On the right, we have III Sisters of Nature Curly Whip Pudding. Marketed as comparable to Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding, this newcomer has a few tricks up its sleeves. According to its packaging, “III Sisters of Nature Curly Whip Pudding is formulated to bring dull, frizzy and tight curls to life with moisture, shine, and length. Our cleaner and natural blends are reduced to the smallest molecule for maximum penetration and definition of curls, waves and twists, and kinks. Compare to the more expensive brand and save.” This knockoff is an all natural curly hair product.

On left: Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding. On right: III Sisters of Nature Curly Whip Pudding.

Remove the packaging; open the jars; and you’ll notice that both products are nearly identical. But are they really? Let’s put them to the test.

The Rules

Both products will be measured according to My Curly Mane’s criteria. A full point will be given for successful completion of each category. A half point will be given for satisfactory results. The categories are: price, ingredients, scent, application, look, feel, and the wild card—ability to produce second day hair. Final scores can range from zero to 7 (perfect) points.

Let’s get ready to battle!

1. Price

  • Miss Jessie’s = approximately $22
  • III Sisters of Nature =  $13

There’s not much of a battle here when it comes to price. III Sisters has purposely set its price point much lower than Miss Jessie’s. As a result, the sisters easily skip and twirl their way to a quick and easy full point.

Miss Jessie’s
Point = 0 /Total = 0

III Sisters
Point = 1 / Total = 1

 2. Ingredients

Once you learn how to understand product ingredients, it will save you a lot of headaches … and money! Here’s the breakdown on our contenders:

  • Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding contains mineral oil aka parafinium liquidum, which can either dry out your hair or help it to maintain moisture. You will need to shampoo your hair to remove the mineral oil. Typically, mineral oil doesn’t affect my hair, but I’ve noticed that this is changing as my hair grows. When using this product, my hair tends to shed. I’ve even had whole strands come out while washing the product out of my hair! However, I’m hesitant to write this off, as Curly Pudding saved me while I was rehabbing my curly mane. I didn’t have this problem when my hair was shorter. Instead, I’m advising you to pay close attention to your hair when using this product.

My curly mane’s definition with Miss Jessie’s (on left) and III Sisters of Nature (right).

Curly Pudding (unscented) also contains water, parafinium liquidum, glycerin, dipropylene glycol, Ordenone™ Triethanolamine, carbomer, PEG-12 dimethicone, wheat amino acids, aloe barbadensis leaf extract, avocado oil, shea butter, sweet almond oil, jojoba seed oil, macademia seed oil, oleth05, ethylhexyl methoxycinnanate, disodium EDTA, DMDM hydantoin, lodopropynyl butylcarbamate.

Pros: This product is free of sulfate and paraben

  • III Sisters of Nature’s Curly Whipped Pudding prides itself on being naturally made.

Curly Whipped Pudding contains Deionized Water (Aqua),Polyquaternium 10 and PEG 14, Glycerol, DMDM Hydantoin, PEG 33 and PEG 8 Dimethicone, Triethanolamine, Sodium Polyacrylate and Ethylhexylstearate Trideceth-6, Fragrance (Parfum), Aloe Extract ( Aloe Barbadensis), Soybean Oil (Glycine Soja), Babassu Oil (Orbignya Oleifera), Honey, Macadamia Nut Oil (Macadamia Ternifolia), Papaya Extract (Carica), Avocado Oil (Persea Gratissma), Bay Laurel Extract (Lauris Nobilis), Sweet Almond Extract (Prumus Amygdalus), Chamomile Extract (Anthemis Nobilis).

Pros: As written on the label, Curly Whip Pudding is a “natural product containing no alcohol, no waxes, no silicones, no petrolatum, mineral oil, parabens, formaldehyde, carbomer, gimmicks, and hype. Just style and savings.”

It’s just hard to beat anything that delivers in the style department and contains all natural ingredients. III Sisters takes a leap towards another full point.

Miss Jessie’s
Point = 0.5 /Total = 0.5

The view from the back of my curly mane with Miss Jessie’s (on left) and III Sisters (on right).

III Sisters
Point = 1 / Total = 2

 3. Scent

  • Miss Jessie’s pudding has a strong, signature smell reminiscent of grape flavored bubble gum. Love it or hate it, you definitely won’t miss it. You can probably smell Curly Pudding from a mile away, which is just too much for my sensitive sniffer. The good news is that Miss Jessie’s is aware of this potential headache-inducing trait and provides an unscented version, which I prefer to use.
  • III Sisters smells … the same! Since they’re strategically competing against Miss Jessie’s, the sisters must realize that some people do enjoy Curly Pudding’s scent in doses. They’ve formulated their pudding as a lighter scented version. You’ll still get the grape candy smell, except the nasal volume is turned down a notch.

Despite their similar aroma, Miss Jessie’s stands out by offering an unscented version, earning a full point.

Miss Jessie’s
Point = 1 /Total = 1.5

III Sisters
Point = 0.5 / Total = 2.5

4. Application

Both products are applied in the same way–on damp, freshly washed hair. They each have a thick, cake batter consistency, which is what I love about puddings. They just seem to work better for braid-outs and twist-outs (with the exception of aloe vera gel). The difference lies in their penetration. Miss Jessie’s coats my hair strands, while III Sisters lightly absorbs into the hair shaft, causing less product build up and feel (see details below). III Sisters gets the edge.

Miss Jessie’s
Point = 0.5/Total = 2

III Sisters
Point = 1 / Total = 3.5

The look of my curly mane’s 2nd day results with Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding (on left) and III Sisters of Nature’s Curly Whip Pudding (on right).

 5. Look

I have not used these items for wash and gos, as I would go through them much more quickly than desired … particularly given the costs. If used for braid-outs or twist-outs, both products will amaze you. They produce mirror image results–shiny, defined styles. The only difference is that my braid-outs with Miss Jessie’s have more shrinkage on the 1st day (see attached photo), while III Sisters gives me a softer, more relaxed hold. For their identical results, these twins somersault their way to a full point.

Miss Jessie’s
Point = 1/Total = 3.5

III Sisters
Point = 1 / Total = 4.5

6. Moisture & Feel

This is where the two find their individuality.

Moisture

Second day hair results with Miss Jessie’s (on left) and III Sisters (on right).

Miss Jessie’s requires the use of its Baby Butter Creme to maintain moisture. I have had hits and misses with this one, as it (combined with the pudding) leaves my hair feeling oily and weighed down by waaaay too much product. III Sisters makes my hair a bit more moisturized on its own, but this may be credited to its natural ingredients.

Feel

I can definitely feel Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding on my hair, as it also coats my hands when running my fingers through my hair. III Sisters of Nature’s Curly Whip Pudding gives a similar, but lighter coating.

Miss Jessie’s
Point = 0.5/Total = 4

III Sisters
Point = 1 / Total =5.5

 7. Wild Card/Tie Breaker: Second day hair

You can get second day hair with both products, provided that you pineapple (gather your hair at the very top of your head) the night before, re-braid or re-twist your hair, or stuff your hair in a satin cap. I have to admit, I prefer my second day hair results with III Sisters because my hair isn’t as oily or masked by products. It’s also a bit more elongated.

Miss Jessie’s
Point = 0.5/Total = 4.5 out of 7

III Sisters
Point = 1 / Total =6.5 out of 7

And the winner is: III Sisters of Nature’s Curly Whipped Pudding! This newbie has surprisingly taken the medal from Gymnastics Artthe champ.

If you are looking for a product that will deliver on the look (and don’t mind the scent), both products serve that purpose. As I mentioned before, Miss Jessie’s has saved this curlie many a times (specifically Curly Pudding and Quick Curls). I still have 3 full jars of Curly Pudding in my stash, so you will see its cameo in my routine. However, when it comes down to look AND feel AND hair health, III Sisters wins the gold.

UPDATED 6-10-13: III Sisters of Nature’s Curly Whipped Pudding is renamed as its Spiral Pudding.