Hello Curlies! I know. I know. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve posted information to My Curly Mane! My hiatus was much longer than anticipated. I’ve had a ton of personal changes (wedding, move, and more) that took me away from writing, but I am hoping to resurrect this blog this year. I’ll include a more detailed post on my M.I.A. status for those of you who are scratching your heads.
For others who are wondering what’s new in this neck of the woods, I’ll cut to the chase and present to you this video courtesy of Chime Edwards AKA Haircrush. Yes, this is the same YouTuber with the endlessly long tresses with the fitting former name. She did some digging on the history of black hair and came up with the following video. I hope all is accurate. It would be nice to view a more detailed list of her sources.
I found this video informative, sad, and very interesting, particularly as black hairstyles seem to be coming full circle. Watching this, you realize that “it’s not just hair!” There’s a lot of history involved in all of our curly manes. Tune in and let me know your thoughts!
Hey Curlies! After a waaaaayyyy too long hiatus, My Curly Mane is back! Yes, just in time for the New Year. I want to start 2014 on a good foot by updating this blog more frequently and bringing you more of what you love. Soooo sorry to keep you hanging!
What Had Happened Was …
Now what exactly happened, you ask? Well, (takes a deep breath; raises right hand; and promises to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth) I had to focus more on the ever-moving pieces in my life. I hate to make excuses, but a few new projects came my way, which required my full attention. I found myself having minimal time and energy to write, although I had tons of new hair products to review and ideas brewing in the brain. By the time I knew it, months blew by, and we’re now bumping up against a new year. Bad news bears.
BTW–I don’t know how I forgot to mention this when I first uploaded this post. I was sick for nearly a month! I had the flu, which wiped me out for two weeks. I’m still battling a lingering and annoying cough. Hate being sick! That was definitely a time suck.
I apologize again for being MIA! The good news? As I mentioned, I’ve got new news coming your way in 2014, so stay tuned (yes, again)! This is my New Year’s resolution for you.
Looking Back
As for my curly mane, my natural hair goal remains the same–to have waist-length tresses. So far, I’m in good shape, although I have been sporting straightened locks these last few months. Gasp, ya say! Well, that’s what happens when you’re not around to pull me away from my straightening addiction. đ I must admit that I have had some control in the process. I only used minimal heat on my hair and even deep treated it a few times following this style. I found myself experimenting with the traditional comb-chase method of straightening, a departure from my usual straightening technique with a Sonicglide. More on this as well as my length check in an upcoming post.
Looking back on 2013, we missed a very, very important milestone … My Curly Mane turned one year old!!! Yes, it’s been a little over a year since our baby made its debut. Thank you for your support!! I’m so happy that you are reading this blog and hope that it has helped you to make strides in your hair journey. This keeps me motivated. I kept my promise for 2013 and spruced up the look of this blog. Now, I promise to keep the tips and other bits flowing for 2014. More on the belated celebratory affairs soon!
What We Learned
My Curly Mane as seen this month. Making progress! Coming soon: Details on my wash ‘n go look with As I Am Smoothing Gel.
We learned so many lessons this year. Last winter, we learned how to winter proof our poof, a tip I urge you to use again this season. This includes sporting satin-lined hats (still sporting the one I got from Etsy last year–love!), conducting regular scalp massages, and loading up on leave-in conditioner.
This upcoming year is ours! Let’s go in roaring like a lion. Together, let’s work on achieving the next step in our hair goal, while being an even better version of ourselves. We’re proudly rocking our curly manes, going big or going home, and sticking our fingers in our ears to shut out all naysayers and soul suckers. This is our plan, in case you missed the memo. đ
Before you dive into the New Year, don’t forget to snag my new eBook. Please subscribe to get your free copy of this guide! Hopefully, it will serve as a blueprint throughout your journey.
Kick-off Style
I plan to have a low-key celebration with my BF and friends to ring in 2014, so the look of the day will be simple and naturally free flowing curls as seen in the image above. How are you styling your hair?? Don’t know? Check out the creative looks below from a few ladies that I think got it right. Let me know if you decide to do the same. I wish you many blessings for the New Year!!
Side Puff, Heatless Hair Style (try subbing the ribbon for a little bling … or a blingy ribbon!)
Glittery Smokey Eye Tutorial & DIY Short Marley Twists (Skip to 3:28 for the hair tutorial)
You can wake up to your higher self ⊠You donât have to run from life your whole life. You can really live and you can change, and you can be an agent of change.â ~ Laura Dern as Amy Jellicoe in Enlightened
I have another show in which Iâm adding to My Curly Maneâs âFab Fave For Youâ list. ⊠Yes, I just invented that one! This list contains a few of my favorite things that I hope are helpful for your spiritual journey or for someone you know. My first entry is HBOâs series, Enlightened. Iâm hooked on its lessons of the week, hippy trippy vibe, and the Cali-cool essence of its wavy-haired main character, Amy Jellicoe, played by Laura Dern. The seasoned actress co-created the show with Mike White, who writes each episode and also stars in the show.
Let me fill you in without spoilers. It’s good. I promise! The series begins with a straight-haired, 40-year-old Amy Jellicoe working as a manager at a leading mega company, Abaddonn Industries. Amy soon experiences a dramatic (and entertaining) personal breakdown that causes her to evolve and become literally enlightened after staying at a holistic treatment center. She becomes the meditative, philosophical, textured-haired, self-help guru in pursuit of being an âagent of change.â As Amy says in one episode, âItâs a beautiful thing to have a little hope for the world.â Amy more than just evolves; she become truly happy.
Ironically, I found another similar find about a week ago. It was on a rainy day, after a few minutes hunting for something good on Netflix, that I decided to watch the documentary Happy. Blame it on the sulky weather, but this doc seemed to be right on the money ⊠and it is! Happy highlights real-life stories of several people around the world who have identified themselves as being truly content despite their apparently rough circumstances. One of these examples that stuck out to me was how a rickshaw driver in India who has just the basic necessities in life was happy in comparison to a population of financially successful, Japanese businessmen who are literally, sadly working themselves to death.
Quick fact for you: Researchers found that extrinsic pleasures like extreme wealth lead to temporary happiness versus the long-term satisfaction that comes from internal rewards like being authentic to oneself, bonding with others, and giving back to the earth. Basically, it’s proven that letting your hair down and being more like Amy is really what makes us happy.
It reminds me of how I felt in the beginning of my career versus now. In the beginning (yes, there was a heaven and an Earth ⊠but I digress! :)) I would dress like my older co-workers in an effort to gain acceptance and to be taken seriously. This consisted of wearing oversized business suits, having my hair “tamed” and pulled back into a tight ponytail, and keeping very, very silent. I thought obedience and basically mimicking othersâ appearance would make me successful. What I really found was that my clothes made me physically and emotionally imprisoned. I was also terribly unhappy using so much energy trying to please others. This discomfort also affected my performance. Remember what I said about trying to fit into a mold created for you ⊠or one in which youâve unwittingly created!
In time, with self-reflection and prayer, I learned to just be myself. I soon discovered that it was okay to dress with a little more flair, paint those nails, and free my mane! It was okay to have different opinions and politely express them. It was acceptable to be different, to be me. This didn’t make me any less competent. It was up to me to show this and be that example to others. I also discovered that I was happiest doing more of the things that truly made me happy like being out in the sun, drawing, writing, and helping others embrace their hair and spiritual journey (of course!). These are simple solutions with big results. Itâs about being your own version of Amy and really finding happiness. Happy, happy! Joy, joy!
What makes you happy? Name one thing, anything! Yes, butter pecan ice cream counts!
UPDATED: Just as I was about to post this, I did a fact-checking search and discovered that HBO has discontinued Enlightened!! What?! This show was amazing and so well written! Ah! See what happens when you have a show with meaning. I have to say that I also havenât heard HBO plugging the show as hard as it does with Girls. Sigh. Whatâs that you say? Turn it into a reality show and it would resuscitate? Oh, oh, oh. Say it isnât so! We canât go that route with this one.
Well, letâs cue the violins and play the sad music. Throw up the in memoriam sign. While this show has dearly departed, please catch its two seasons and reflect on how you can make positive changes in the world ⊠like bringing this show back. Ha! Are Were you also hooked on Enlightened?
Does this sound familiar? You big chopped or grew it out. Either way, you finally learned to embrace your curly mane. Heart racing with excitement, you couldnât wait to explore the infinite possibilities that lay ahead on your head. Suddenly, along the way, you hit a bump in the road. You found yourself getting frustrated with knots, dry hair, and breakage. The level of joy you once had at the beginning of your adventure dips and dives into frustration, and you nearly forget the love you once had for your natural hair.
Like personal bonds, the relationship we have with our curls can hit a rut, causing us to forget what we once cherished. Take a seat. Iâm going to share with you some timely tips on loving your natural hair. Hope you had a Happy Valentineâs Hair Day!
Keep Committed
Letâs face it. Sometimes the latest styles donât come out as expected, and we canât seem to give our hair just what it needs. There are challenges that come with being natural, but letâs not forget that similar challenges exist for relaxed or straightened hair. The grass isnât always greener. The secret is to stay committed. Donât give up on your curls and waves. Instead, give yourself time to figure out and rediscover your hair. Hang in there.
Communication Is Key
I say this time and time and time again. *Spins head round and round* Communication is critical! You have to take time to listen and look closely at your curls in order to identify its needs. Whether it basks in your latest conditioner by snuggling curling up tightly or rejects a styler by splitting ends, your hair will let you know! If you pay attention to the signs and gently address your hairâs concerns, it will reward you in return.
‘Do Dates
Friday nights or Saturday mornings may be prime time for tuning into Housewives ⊠or heck, being a real-life housewife, but you can also use that time to give your hair a little TLC. Set aside at least 30 minutes of âme-time,â to explore the many ways to care for your curls. Try a new style; test a product; or indulge in a deep treatment. By experimenting and setting aside playtime, you will take your curls to the next level.
Fight Fair
Are you roughing-up your hair with harsh combs, brushes, and scraggly nails? If so, stoooooop! Never abuse your hair. You will always get better results by handling your hair with kid gloves aka treating it like itâs your first and only pair of Manolos. The gentler the care, the sweeter the results will be. Have patience.
Cherish Curls
Stop commanding your hair to pop and twirl like the next one. Remember that your curly mane is unique. It isnât fair for you to demand it to look or behave like anyone elseâs. Look back at why you originally decided to embrace your tresses and how happy it can make you feel. Keep your âmaneâ love in the forefront.
We all go through ups and downs throughout our relationship with our hair. You just have to remember that itâs all a part of the course and worth it in the end. Got some more tips? Share them below.
I donât need negative people trying to bring me down; life is too good right now. I just wanna enjoy the moment.â ~ Author unfortunately unknown ⊠perhaps our inner voice.
âDid you see Soandsoâs hair?!â a certain someone says. She stands right in front of the entrance to your office/cubicle/dorm room/workspace and blocks you from fleeing. Sheâs ready to spew the latest bad news, and youâre on her list of targets. Sheâll go on a rant with no sign of letting up. She is Negative Nancy, and this soul sucker will bring you doooowwwn!
Negative Nancy doesnât give any thought to the fact that youâre desperately working against a deadline, eyes glued to your computer screen and fingers panging against your keyboard. Instead, she seizes the moment to vent about all things wrong with the worldâdown to your hair.
âYou canât get ahead with an afro! What was SoandSo thinking? Completely ratchet.â She looks at your fabulous, natural hair, touches her thinning tresses, then softens the blow. âI mean. It only looks good on some people.â Second blow.
You politely nod and turn back to your computer, but Negative Nancy is relentless. She isnât done yet and wonât be for a very long time. âNot like it matters anyways. This ship is sinking. Itâs not the same working here, and Itâll never be like it used to be. Did you hear about âŠâ From there, she begins pouring from her pot of negativity, and all you can do is sit back and watch your Zen drown.
Does this scenario ring true to you? Have you been subjected to a drive-by from a Negative Nancy? If you havenât, then youâre fortunate. Unfortunately, Negative Nancies are evvveeerrrywhere. In case youâre scratching your head, let me help you to identify them.
Who Are These People? (insert Seinfeldâs voice)
Negative Nancies are constant naysayers. They are the tsk-tsking, itâll-never-happen preachers. They just canât see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Even if they fess up to seeing gold, theyâll quickly find something wrong with it.
They often donât realize their faults because negative vibes have pierced into their whole being. It is a part of them. Often, Negative Nancies are unhappy or sadly jealous, so they vent. Unfortunately, this venting comes in the form of complaints and projected thoughts onto others. Sounds familiar now?
What Happens When You Meet Them?
Since they are in a constant state of doubt, Negative Nancies will rob you of positivity. You will often feel exhausted after conversing with them. Your once joyful spirit will become blue, and it will be difficult to hone in and regain focus on your work. With prolonged exposure, you may find yourself even ⊠transforming into them!
What Can You Do?
Ruuuunnnn! Iâm not kidding. Run for the Himalayas! Run for your life! Run like Forrest! By all means, run! Okay, so realistically, you may not want to cause that much of a scene. Good olâ Nancy has already done this for you. Instead, donât engage in her talk. I know this will be tough. If youâre like me, youâre used to being polite and courteous. Youâll listen for hours, just to find your soul depleted.
Instead try to:
1. Listen. As I mentioned, some people just need to vent or be understood. I believe that each one of us gets brought into the otherâs life for a reason. Maybe this person needs the consoling that you can provide. That doesnât mean that you become his/her therapist! Instead, hear this person out for a minute. Just a minute!
2. KISS (Keep It Simple For Soul Suckers) â Okay, thatâs not quite what that stands for, but you know what I mean. Maintain brief conversations with negative people. The longer you engage, the worse the situation will be for you. Try to steer the conversation towards a sunshiny lane and keep the trip short.
3. Become Positive Polly. Try deflecting negatives with positives. This is not necessarily a tit for tat, ping-ponging scenario. Instead, after Negative Nancy has announced her problem of the week, remind her that everything will be okay. She may not want to hear it, but hopefully she will listen. It may just make a slight difference in her perspective. She may not tell you this, but it can be helpful.
A friend demonstrated this to me years ago. Whenever I started stressing about work or school, my friend, Positive Polly, would simply say with a smile, âEverything will be okay.â At first, I looked passed it and continued yakking, but I soon realized that she frequently said it. Polly was so comfortable in her view, that I felt relieved hearing it. Guess what? I had transformed into Negative Nancy!! I didnât even realize it until I paid attention to someone elseâs positivity.
Life gives us enough ups and downs. Why contribute to the drama?? I hope that these tips will come in handy the next time youâre confronted by you know who. Just remember, when all else fails ⊠ruuunnnn!!
If you have a tip for addressing soul suckers, please share them below.
Grab your whistles and horns! A new year is coming! It turns out that the Mayans may have gotten a thing or two incorrect (thank goodness!) because 2013 is nearly here. Phew! This new year, I’d like to take you and my curly mane to a higher level. Yes, I’d like us to end 2013 having made some significant advances. What kind of advances, you say?
First let’s look back at this year. Ah, 2012, the time in which we first met. In case you don’t already know, My Curly Mane is 6 months old! Our baby girl is growing, and with that, I must turn to you. Thank you for stopping by and reading! I truly appreciate the support and enjoy helping you with your hair goals. If you have questions or suggestions, feel free to let me know. I appreciate any and all thoughts.
This blog has allowed me to focus more on my curly mane, literally. If you read about my recent length check, you’ll notice that the extra care I’ve taken to moisturize my hair and keep straightening to a minimum has paid off. I’ve seen an increase in my hair’s health (springiness) and length. If you’re seeking either or both goals, I want to help you make strides and/or achieve your goal in 2013.
You & Me In 2013
I’m asking you to please implement at least one tip from this blog or my newsletter (you’ll receive this by subscribing) each month. Please abide by this lesson for at least one week and report back to me. Remember, it’s only by taking action and making changes to your routine that you will see improvements in your hair. Trust me. I know it’s hard, but by finally taking action, I started My Curly Mane. Oh, and yes. I thought that was crazy too, but here we are making our way. I challenge you to take action and get your hair ready in 2013, so you can proudly werk your mane come 2014. Make me proud!
Aside from your mane, I’m putting out a call for hair stories and additional advice. I truly believe that each one teaches one, and I am inviting you to share your hair stories, tips, and life lessons. Pass on a good word or two. It never hurts. đ
My Curly Mane Outlook
I will continue to share my colorful take on hair and life right here on this blog. I may play around with the look and feel of this site, depending on your feedback. I already made a tweak or two. Did you notice? I will continue to share tips, reviews, and news on natural hair. However, there may be a few surprises or two. I’ll leave it at this, as I have a few ideas brewing. No need to worry. I will continue to steer the course smoothly, with your feedback, of course.
Best Wishes
I wish you and your family lots of love and happiness in the new year. I pray that you will continue to embrace your mane as well as the manes of others, speak kindly, learn to treat others and yourself with care (let’s spoil ourselves more as a certain someone did this holiday season … who, me?), and seize all opportunities that come your way. Whether you’re celebrating with a group or alone on your couch, cheers! Dust off your shoulders. It’s time for new beginnings. Happy New Year!!
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