by Nay | Nov 17, 2012 | Life Lessons, Mane Styles, Tips, Uncategorized
My natural hair was straightened and curled. This look lasts for 3-5 days (for my mane).
Attention dear friends. Recently I celebrated my birthday! Yes, curlies. My curly mane and I are literally older … and hopefully wiser! To celebrate this milestone (no, I won’t reveal the numbers as yet … gulp!), I straightened my mane! Believe it or not; I actually departed from curls to sport straightened locks. First, I wanted to mix it up for a few, celebratory days. Second, I wanted to conduct a length check.
You see. For about a year, I swore that my hair wasn’t budging past near mid-back/bra-strap length, but I now know that my hair needs less direct heat aka flat ironing in order for it to thrive. At the start of the summer, I made a commitment to reduce the amount of time in which I’d straighten my hair and experiment more with my natural hair. In doing so, my hair has gotten even healthier than before and longer!
That being said, it was time to straighten my hair the safer way—roller settting and then lightly flat ironing. Here are a few steps (as well as grown lady tips!) in which you can follow to capture this look.
Tools:
- Clarifying or Moisturizing Shampoo
- Conditioner
- Leave-in conditioner (I use Silicon Mix Intensive Leave in Hair Shine and Conditioner since the silicones it contains help to trap moisture into the hair and prevent frizz )
- Oil (I love my Vatika Oil mix)
- Regular tooth comb (not wide or fine, just right and easy to use)
- Snap-on, hard, magnetic rollers aka rolos 🙂 You can also use flexi rods if this is easier.
- Soft rollers covered in satin
- Spray Bottle (fill with water)
- Hard hat dryer (I have a Pibbs but Belson Elite Ionic Tourmaline Rollabout Dryer works well)
- Setting lotion = optional. I don’t use it, but if you want more hold then use this.
- Heat protectant spray (always recommended, but I tend to skip this in favor of an oil or butter)
- Flat iron (I use a Maxiglide)
Tools of the trade and steps needed in order to roller set natural hair.
Steps
- Start with a clean slate. Wash and condition your curly mane as you normally do. I like to clarify my hair, so it is completely clear of other products, particularly those that work with my natural curls but not with straight tresses.
- Apply leave-in conditioner. I tend to add a lot of product to the ends of my hair, since I will be using a flat iron, and I don’t want to dry out my ends. Calling all bandits! Split ends will rob you of length retention.
- Keep hard rollers (for drying under the hard hat) at your side, and section your hair from the back to the front of your head. Create sections at the appropriate size of each hard roller. If your section is too large for the roller, your hair will take much longer to dry.
- Comb out each section of hair, spritz to keep it moist, and roll it with a roller. Apply tension to your hair as you roll, so your hair is as straight as possible. If you want more hold, spritz setting lotion onto the hair as you roll it. Warning: I am absolutely the worst at roller setting! If you’re in this club, it’s okay. You want to focus on getting the hair smooth and simply roll it as close to the scalp as possible. When you flat iron, it will work out the kinks. I also do not create neat rows. I haven’t gotten this down, so I roll my hair in the same sections I use for braid outs.
- After roller setting your entire head of hair, sit under a hard hat dryer for at least 30 minutes. Please gauge this according to your hair length and drying needs. Your hair must be completely dry to avoid frizz.
- Undo your rollers. You’ll notice that your roots may still be poofy. Ah, our curly manes win again! Once again this is okay. See my photo. My hair length may not be as kinky curly as it was originally, but my roots are still poofy. Once again, no need to fret.
- Apply oil all over your hair. This works as a heat protectant and adds sheen.
- Dust off your flat iron. My Maxiglide felt a little foreign in my hands. It took me a minute to remember how to use it! Anyhoo, grab your flat iron and straightened your hair, working in small sections from the back to the front of your head. I apply a minimal amount of heat needed to straighten it. I also like to bump (curl) the ends for body.
That’s it! You now have straight hair!
Optional: Do you want beachy, bouncy curls? If so, as you flat iron each section, roll it with a soft, satin roller. Leave the soft rollers in your hair for at least an hour. When removed, you will have large, curls and waves.
Runway Styling & Nighttime Maintenance
While I like to have straight hair for the first day. Each day afterwards, I like to rock that Victoria’s Secret-esk, beachy look. Lol! This protects my ends and doesn’t require flat irons to maintain the look. To capture this look, I begin by oiling my entire hair, particularly the ends, each night. Afterwards, I use the soft, satin rollers to roll my hair. I apply a satin cap over the rollers for extra protection and to keep the positioning of the rollers. Off to bed you go! In the morning, remove all and voilá! Repeat each night for a hot look and simple, safe upkeep.
On the first day, my straightened mane easily reverted (on right). This tends to happen when natural hair hasn’t been straightened for a while. I applied a minimal amount of heat that night and roller set my hair with soft, satin rollers.
Grown Lady Lessons
As I mentioned prior, the clock is ticking and tocking. Sigh. You may have guessed it. I am one of those gals who hit a birthday and had a bit of the blues followed by the highs of all the lessons learned. I am blessed to blow out another candle, and in doing so, want to share a few lessons with you. As always, each one teach one.
On Hair (of course!) …
- Slow and steady wins the race. Chances are you will not figure out your hair overnight … and that’s okay! I’m still discovering my hair’s capabilities.
- The best manes are the result of gentle care and healthy hair. These tips are underrated but produce the best results. Healthy hair that’s treated kindly will always look good.
- It’s okay to keep the same style until you master your hair and other looks. Don’t feel pressured to have the same results as other curlies. Focus on your own progress. Remember #1: slow and steady wins the race!
On Life …
- It’s okay to be different. It’s everyone else’s problem if you do not fit into a mold. Seize the opportunity to enlighten them. If they don’t get it, keep it moving!
- Not everyone will like you. Ugh! “But why?” you say. “I am so kind and God-fearing.” Sadly, even the best of us will get shunned or bullied once in our lives. I know. It isn’t right. It’s just human nature. You just have to remember to be above it. Once again, it’s their problem. Keep it moving!
- There’s nothing better than being kind to yourself. Woooah there, lioness! Go easy. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Even if you believe you haven’t accomplished as much as you’d like to by your age, note the many lessons learned (I hope!), adventures undertaken (even the minis), and plain ol’ fashioned growing up that you’ve done. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. If you’ve had a b’day or you’re approaching one, happy you day to you!
by Nay | Oct 6, 2012 | Life Lessons, Uncategorized
I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.” ~ Amy Sedaris
A photo I took at a park during really good “me time”
Greta Garbo, screen siren of the ’30s, famously sported pant suits and trademark finger waves. This leading lady strode into a room and easily drew attention, which is ironic because she has historically been credited with often saying, “I just want to be alone.”
This brings up the topic of “me time.” Time is truly a precious gem. With our lives moving in warped speed, it may appear as if there just isn’t enough time to get things done … or to do nothing at all. That fluid time to dip and do, that “me time,” is becoming more and more of a necessity.
For introverts, like myself … waaaait! Time out! Let’s not confuse this with shy people. Nuh, uh. Introverts are people who need time for self reflection. This is how they refuel. This is also opposed to our sparkling extroverts, who need social interactions to process their experience with the world. Neither one is better than the other. It’s just different ways in which we navigate our journey.
Back to my point. For introverts, like myself, “me time” is necessary. Even if you’re not an introvert, this is the time needed to engage in hobbies like cleaning, cooking, knitting, and of course, blogging. Heck, you can just sit around and watch TV, catch a movie, daydream, and play in your curly mane. Yes, my curly friend. If you’re lucky to have a little “me time,” try some of the tips I’ve shared here.
As Audrey Hepburn said, “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” Just don’t forget to get back out into the world. Don’t get lost curlie!
In my journey thus far, there have been times when I had to study or go shopping alone. At first, I kicked rocks and complained about my friends’ busy schedules. Soon, I embraced that time, as it forced me to learn about myself. I had to turn inward and make my own decisions, steer my own course. It’s such a key lesson for young women, as we often fall for group think or what so and so says. Sometimes that “me time” is just what answers questions and opens the door to spiritual awakening. Okay, I won’t go too far into hippie mode!
For the busy mamas out there, “me time” is a hot commodity with kids running around and possibly also a hubby to tend to. If and when you can seize it, I applaud you! For my ladies with time on your hands, please use it well. Take some time to look within, have fun, and relax for a minute. Carpe diem!
by Nay | Sep 4, 2012 | Life Lessons, Mane Styles, Tips
Kim Kardashian channels Diana Ross. Photo by Hype Williams. Photo Credit: kimkardashian.celebuzz.com
From TV to magazines, it’s hard not to keep up with the Kardashians since they are just about everywhere, particularly the family’s star, Kim. Recently, Kim K. publicized her experimental hair style in which she channeled Supreme du jour Diana Ross circa the 1970s. Donning big, curly hair and lots of makeup, Kim Kardashian struck a few diva-esk poses.
In describing the look, Kim says that she and her glam squad “went for a fun, crazy look.” Let’s listen to this again. It was a “fun, crazy look.” Even celeb reporters have covered this story by highlighting Kim’s “wild” look. Call me captain over analytical, but is it true that full, natural hair is also a crazy look? Let’s rewind here and clarify.
I love Kim’s makeup in the pics, which is for most purposes too dramatic for day wear but perfect for this shoot. I’m honing in on her hair, which I adore. That same ‘do is quintessential Diana Ross back in her heyday, and she was herald for it. Today, as women are embracing their naturally curly hair once more, I have to pause and ask, “Is natural hair a wild, crazy look?”
Natural hair is big and can even reach the same lengths and volume in real life that Kim possessed with her magic hair. Does this mean that this same look is fun and crazy when it’s for kicks and not as the actual look coming from your head? Is it only acceptable when being experimental?
Kim Kardashian’s look is inspired by Diana Ross. Photo by Hype Williams. Photo Credit: kimkardashian.celebuzz.com
I’m only drawing this correlation because of the many hair commercials that you and I have seen. How many times have you heard products—mousses, gels, sprays, serums, and chemical concoctions—aimed at “fixing frizz” and “taming wild hair?” This is of course followed by models of all ethnicities celebrating the results of their straightened locks instead of their “frizzy” curly hair. We even have a host of salons that cater to cuts that tame curly hair, helping to reduce the bulk.
This brings me back to my initial question. Is curly hair equivalent to wild hair? Hmmm. Perhaps, depending on your comfort with natural hair. As a naturally curly gal my whole life, I’m quick to say that my curly mane is … my hair. It is what it is, and I am who I am. Yes, it’s big. As it flops and swirls in the wind, it can look a bit free spirited. However, it isn’t something that necessarily needs taming or fixing. There’s no need to beat it into submission through products or other methods … or is that exactly what us curly girls do on our quest for products that work for us?
Whether you consider it naturally wild or not, naturally curly manes can roar. Its beauty commands attention by nature. To gain it, the curls will often volumize itself. For those of you with quieter manes, there are techniques you can use to turn up the volume (see my post on using an afro pik).
If having naturally curly hair is living on the wild side, ladies it’s time to channel your inner Miss Ross. Bend over, shake, fluff, or pic your mane. Go big or go home! 😉
by Nay | Aug 31, 2012 | Life Lessons
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” ~ Randy Pausch
Photo credit: DG Jones
Two weeks ago, I attended two funerals for two young friends under the age of 34. Both gentlemen passed away suddenly and left behind many broken hearts and dear friends. They lived completely different lives but left the same lesson—life is about choices.
You’ve heard the clichéd expression that life is a rollercoaster. Life gives you lemons. Life is like a box of chocolates, and on and on. Well, it’s true. Life truly is an unpredictable journey. One minute we’re caught up in work drama, the latest hair style, and laughing about reality TV. The next minute, the stop sign flashes red, and we’re facing life-changing challenges, all based on the cards we’re dealt.
You may have different beliefs, and that’s fine. In the crazy little world within my head, I picture angels—wise, cunning beings that are either good or bad–surrounded around a card table. One plucks a card and deals your faith. We can either choose to push through obstacles (with lots of prayers) or fall, arms outstretched, into a path of destruction.
Our choices aren’t always perfect, but our best bet would be to think about what we want to leave behind. Yes, this is the Oprah moment. Seriously, this lesson was driven home the moment after I left one of the funerals. I strolled away with my SO (significant other) in hand and smiled. This was the very first time I’ve ever felt happy after a funeral. I felt good because of the mark this young man left. It was evident by the words that were spoken of him and attendance of young boys in which he coached and hundreds of friends and family members who all spoke well of him. In the brief time that I knew him, I already knew that he was a good person. How many people can you say that about?
It’s all about these moments, your legacy. Make the best choices that you can while you’re given the opportunity and time to do so. Roll the dice when you need to. Fold or pass whenever you feel it’s right. Do not cheat. Keep a poker face when needed rather than being overpowered by emotions. Play by some rules while breaking others. Know it’s okay to lose and celebrate winning. Most of all, don’t just be … live.
by Nay | Aug 6, 2012 | Hair-raising, Life Lessons, Uncategorized
Don’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the further you get.”
~ Michael Phelps, Men’s Swimming (Kudos to those who dare to dream!)
This past weekend, it happened to me once again. It being me, jumping up and down and cheering at the top of my lungs. It being me, talking smack to naysayers. It being me, completely (and maybe a bit psychotically!) sucked into the tube watching the Olympics.
While I am in constant awe of these athletes’ superhero/heroine physiques and abilities, their words of wisdom and examples have left an even bigger impression on me. Forbes magazine captured a few winning quotes from our skilled competitors. One of my favorites is the quote included at the top of this post.
Given what I’ve seen from our athletes thus far, I’m adding to the list a few of the lessons that I’ve learned through their actions. They are:
- Use your talents to the best of your ability. These athletes didn’t get to this epic point in their careers just by luck. They used their God-given skills and obviously worked hard to perfect them.
- Own up to your mistakes. Although she won the gold medal in the team and all-around gymnastics competitions, Gabby Douglas wasn’t able to take home a third medal (as if she needed a third one!). “I made a little mistake, but I’m human,” she said. It can’t be easy to have the world watch you make a mistake (waves hands in front of face like wrestler John Cena, saying, “You can’t see me!”). If that weren’t enough, Gabby bravely fessed up to that mistake, so we can all move on from it. Lesson learned.
- When you fall down (on your butt, heck even on your face as a few gymnasts have done), get back up. This is another tough one. Yesterday, McKayla Maroney, a Team U.S.A. gymnast, fell on her tush while landing from a vault. I gasped in horror as I watched Maroney hit the ground, knowing that her dream of a gold medal was unlikely. England’s Princess Kate and fellow Team U.S.A. gymnasts were supporting Maroney from the stands in what was assumed to be an easy win. Still, the young gymnast showed grace as she left the apparatus and accepted a silver medal instead. “I didn’t really deserve to win a gold medal if I fall on my butt,” Maroney said. She is yet another example of the point above.
- Congratulate others on their achievements. Oscar Pistorius, from South Africa, ran the 400m in track as the first double amputee to compete in the able-bodied Olympics. Although he didn’t qualify for the finals, Pistorius won the admiration of his fellow athletes. In fact, after winning the semifinals against Pistorius, Kirani James of Grenada, exchanged name tags and hugged Pistorius to show his respect. Am I the only sap who’s been tearing up during these games?
- Winning is fun, but the journey more interesting. Just ask 17-year-old swimmer Missy Franklin. She won 5 Olympics medals (4 of them gold) but turned down sponsorships, so she could continue swimming for her high school team. Although fully aware that she may be at her peak performance level, Franklin would rather take the risk in order to enjoy her youth. Hats off to the young, wise, and brave!
Have you been inspired by any of our Olympians? Please share the lessons that you’ve learned.
by Nay | Jul 18, 2012 | Hair-raising, Life Lessons, Uncategorized
As a favor to a friend, I was asked to give advice to a college senior and fellow curly girl (yes!) on the working world and career options in the field of communications. After sharing my thoughts, it had me thinking about the journey we call life (bare with me for a moment).
I believe that part of our life lessons is to find, accept (for good and bad), and learn from ourselves throughout our different phases and stages. It may sound simplistic and easy for some of you to achieve. I commend you! For others, it’s a lifelong struggle between pleasing people by acting in accordance to their standards and being authentic to ourselves. This spans our career choices, how we present ourselves to others, and what we say about ourselves.
As a people pleaser, I often find myself questioning whether I’ve agreed with someone because I truly concurred with their thoughts or if it was expected of me and makes that person feel better knowing that I don’t challenge their thoughts. It’s as if some influencers–loved ones, friends, and acquaintances–are dangling a box in which a mold has already been cast.
Now, I will advise you as I advised this young lady. Whenever you’re presented the mold, step away! If not, you will miss the opportunity to live a fulfilling life and achieve success doing what is in your element, what God has gifted you to do. It is your choice to forge your own path and embrace your true self.
I too struggle with this, so I’m reminding both of us today. Let us repeat Uta Hagen’s words and remember to overcome the notion that we must be regular. Yes, let your freak flag fly!
Have you been forced into a mold? Have you broken free of it? Please share your story.
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