I have a confession to make (stands up and addresses all curlies): I am obsessed with long curly hair! (lets out a sigh of relief). Believe me. I don’t think long hair is any better than short hair or teeny weeny afros (TWAs). I just find myself ogling lengthy, bountiful curls. My weakness for length fuels my hair goal—to achieve waist length hair.
Before achieving my current length, I’ve made several errors and had many hiccups along the way. Now that I know how to care for and maintain my curly mane (and am constantly learning and sharing this information with you), I know that I can achieve this goal. Come back again, and I’ll update you on my progress. For now, let’s talk about a few pesky items that often get in the way of our hair’s health and growth.
SHEDDING
While this doesn’t get in the way of hair growing, it should be explained and distinguished from the items that do. Hairnistas say that everyone’s hair grows at different rates, and the average rate is a half inch per month. They also say that you’ll lose about 100 shed hairs per day. How do you know what are shed hairs? They’re the strands with the white bulbs at the end. These bulbs literally come out of the root, as the hair has reaches the end of its days. There is nothing to worry about unless shedding is excessive aka you’ve created a carpet made of hair! If you do experience extra shedding, you may want to see a doctor/dermatologist about whether this is linked to an illness or an imbalance in hormones and/or stress.
BREAKAGE
Now that you know how to identify shed hairs, let’s separate this from hair loss due to breakage. If your strands are missing a bulb, this is typically hair that has bid adieu because of breakage. These strands, which are typically shorter in length, are damaged by a variety of reasons. They include:
1. Heat – Ah, the gift and the curse. While I like to use blow dryers to speed up my styling time, please refrain from blow frying your hair to death. This includes burning your hair with flat irons and pressing combs.
2. Harsh Chemicals/Perms – Our hair is very delicate and prone to breakage from anything that loosens up the follicles. Hair color and lye, the active ingredient in relaxers, can be dangerous culprits. According to LIVESTRONG.COM, “Lye, or sodium hydroxide, penetrates the hair shaft and breaks down some of its structure, effectively loosening its natural curl. Thus, chemical relaxers’ real function is to damage your hair and make it weaker. This process can’t be reversed.” Yikes!
3. Tight Ponytails and Braids – Yes, they’re cute when done right. However, when styled too tightly (and you can see skin pulling at your crown), you’ve done did it now! Your hair can be literally pulled and tugged from the roots or become broken.
4. Roughing It Up – If you’re a curlie who thinks thrashing and hacking her hair with a comb and brush will tame it, stop right there! This excessively harsh treatment will cause your hair to break.
5. Over Moisturizing – Too much moisture can actually be a bad thing. Yes, believe it or not. It can cause limp, noodle-like tresses that are prone to breakage. Please read more about this in my post on how to moisturize natural hair.
6. Too Much Protein – This can cause your hair to dry out due to the lack of moisture. As you should know, dry hair leads to ____(fill in the blank). 😉
7. Product Build up – Product that piles high on our strands leave little room for the good stuff (moisture) to get into our tresses. When this happens, guess what’s the result? Seeing a theme here?
SPLIT ENDS
When your ends fray, there is little to no solution to fixing it. There are products that claim to moisturize those older ends to prevent the split from worsening. You can also moisturize your ends to prevent splitting, but ultimately, split ends need to be trimmed away. Time for them to literally split!
Now that you know what damaged hair looks like and how it’s caused, please pay close attention to your curly mane. Even if you’re not seeking length, these tips will help you to get healthy hair. Be kind to your curls. Mend all splits or cut them off for good, so you can positively progress in your hair journey.
Is your hair dry? Is it poofing out more than desired? Come closely. Very closely. Very, very closely. Okay, that’s good enough! This one may not be a big secret to you, but I’ll whisper a single key word, “ooooiiiilllsss.”
My curly mane has been thanking me since I introduced carrier oils into my routine. Not to be confused with essential oils (lavender, peppermint, etc.), carrier oils are derived from seeds, nuts, and vegetables. All of your conditioning will be in vain if you don’t seal in your hair’s moisture with an oil or butter. It’s hard enough for sebum (natural oils from your scalp that moisturize your hair) to travel down your coily hair, so you’ll need to add oils or butters instead. Oils tend to seal and/or penetrate the hair shaft, locking moisture into hair and reducing frizz. Most oils even moisturize the scalp.
They also work wonders on your skin and nails. You can use these nourishing oils alone or combine them with essential oils, mainly to dilute and literally “carry” the essential oils onto the skin. I’ve never tried this combo due to the heavy scents that essentials have, but try it, and please report back!
USES
Hot Oil Treatment – Help prep your hair/cuticles for the harshness of shampooing by doing a hot oil treatment. Combine your favorite oils with conditioners and wrap your hair with a towel or plastic cap. You can sit under a dryer or leave the mix in your hair for at least 30 minutes. This should be done prior to washing your hair.
Shampoo Booster – Shampoos strip natural oils from the hair. You can prevent this by adding your oil(s) of choice to your shampoo to make it more moisturizing. Have you noticed the influx of oil-based shampoos? If you haven’t snagged one … make your own!
Deep Conditioner – Like hot oil treatments, deep conditioning helps to pack moisture into your hair. Oils helps to condition the hair and scalp while also treating split ends.
Seal The Deal – Have you ever noticed how great your hair looks at home … only to arrive at your destination with a ball of frizz? Whomp! Whomp! Those same magical, carrier oils seal moisturizing products into hair. You should apply them over water or leave-in conditioners. Don’t believe me? Yep, I wasn’t sold for the longest time, but check out my pic below for proof.
RECOMMENDED OILS
The oils below can be used topically and/or on your scalp. Please note that you do not need to use them all. These are the all stars that work on my curly mane. Click on the links below if you would like to purchase these oils.
On the left, my hair with leave-in conditioner & aloe vera gel. I forgot to seal my leave-in with an oil. On right, later in the day, my hair poofed out because of the lack of oil.
Almond Oil – After replenishing my oil mix (see ingredients at the bottom of this post), I realized that I originally left this oil out from this listing. I’m not sure how I did since I once swore by this oil before discovering Vatika Oil. Almond Oil is rich with Vitamin E, which means that it nourishes hair. It adds sheen and locks in moisture, which is exactly why I relied on it. It’s believed that ancient Egyptians used this oil in their beauty routine, but then again, many of these oils have been traditionally used long ago by savvy ladies across the globe.
Avocado Oil – I love, love to chow down on avocado. Blame it on me being a Caribbean girl. Now you could only imagine my excitement upon discovering avocado oil. Hey, if it’s good for the tummy, it’s got to be good for my hair, right? … Yes, it is! This oil contains vitamins A, E, and D, which are grade A elements for hair. This oil is a great sealant for my tresses. It is also an ingredient in my oil mix (see below).
Coconut Oil – This nearly tops the list for my curly mane. It comes in second place, behind Vatika Oil. Coconut oil smells soooo good, and it contains Vitamins E and fatty acids that combat dandruff. It can actually penetrate the hair shaft, where it helps reduce protein loss. It can thicken hair and reduce premature graying. It works wonders on porous strands and definitely helped my hair rehab from heat damaged. This oil best assists my hair in retaining moisture. I use it topically or on my scalp. It is also an ingredient in my oil mix (see below).
Jamaican Black Castor Oil (JBCO) – With its well-known dark color (due to the roasting of castor beans) and nutty smell, this oil is proven to be extremely effective in helping to grow hair. How? JBCO increases the flow of blood to the scalp. It also contains Vitamin E and Omega 6 fatty acids, which moisturizes the hair follicle. This oil is thiiiick, so use it sparingly. I like to combine it with other oils and apply it to my scalp. I also apply it to my hair ends during winter.
Jojoba Oil – This oil is excellent at penetrating the scalp and hair shaft. It’s recommended for treating scalp build up. Rich with vitamin E, jojoba has many of the same properties as sebum, the natural, moisturizing oil produced by your scalp to reduce hair loss. Jojoba works well with oily or dry scalp. Once again, you can use this topically or on your scalp.
Extra Virgin Olive Oil aka EVOO – This famous oil not only pairs well with bread (delish!), it also works wonders on natural hair. Derived from olives and green in color, EVOO soothes the scalp. This is particularly helpful for smoothing hair cuticles.
Dabur Vatika Oil – My absolute favorite oil blend! This product makes my hair sooooft. It’s enriched with a mixture of goodies:
Amla (Indian Gooseberry) – delays graying & prevents hair loss
Bahera (ayurvedic herb) – nourishes hair & maintains its color
Brahmi – nourishes hair & promotes growth
Coconut Oil – retains hair’s moisture
Cow’s Milk – nourishes the scalp
Harar – cleanses hair
Kapur Kachari – an antiseptic
Henna – conditions hair & is a colorant (although this product will not color your hair)
Lemon Oil – controls sebum flow
Neem – strengthens hair & fights dandruff
**MY CURLY MANE’S OIL COMBO **
I like to keep it creative and mix them all together! I combine half Vatika Oil, a small amount of JBCO, and the rest of the oils on this list together. Hey, it’s the best of all worlds, and they greatly seal in moisture!
Attention Budgetnistas: You do not need to purchase and combine all the oils listed here! I recommend at least picking up Coconut or Vatika Oil either from this site or from your local Cash and Carry. If you’d like to add another oil to Vatika/Coconut Oil, I recommend purchasing Almond Oil from here or from your local Vitamin Shoppe.
I apply oils/my oil mix to my hair each day–regardless if I’m wearing my hair naturally curly or straight–and add them to my scalp in the winter. You can both feel and see the difference. Try it and see!
If you have recommendations or comments, please feel free to share!
I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.” ~ Amy Sedaris
A photo I took at a park during really good “me time”
Greta Garbo, screen siren of the ’30s, famously sported pant suits and trademark finger waves. This leading lady strode into a room and easily drew attention, which is ironic because she has historically been credited with often saying, “I just want to be alone.”
This brings up the topic of “me time.” Time is truly a precious gem. With our lives moving in warped speed, it may appear as if there just isn’t enough time to get things done … or to do nothing at all. That fluid time to dip and do, that “me time,” is becoming more and more of a necessity.
For introverts, like myself … waaaait! Time out! Let’s not confuse this with shy people. Nuh, uh. Introverts are people who need time for self reflection. This is how they refuel. This is also opposed to our sparkling extroverts, who need social interactions to process their experience with the world. Neither one is better than the other. It’s just different ways in which we navigate our journey.
Back to my point. For introverts, like myself, “me time” is necessary. Even if you’re not an introvert, this is the time needed to engage in hobbies like cleaning, cooking, knitting, and of course, blogging. Heck, you can just sit around and watch TV, catch a movie, daydream, and play in your curly mane. Yes, my curly friend. If you’re lucky to have a little “me time,” try some of the tips I’ve shared here.
As Audrey Hepburn said, “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” Just don’t forget to get back out into the world. Don’t get lost curlie!
In my journey thus far, there have been times when I had to study or go shopping alone. At first, I kicked rocks and complained about my friends’ busy schedules. Soon, I embraced that time, as it forced me to learn about myself. I had to turn inward and make my own decisions, steer my own course. It’s such a key lesson for young women, as we often fall for group think or what so and so says. Sometimes that “me time” is just what answers questions and opens the door to spiritual awakening. Okay, I won’t go too far into hippie mode!
For the busy mamas out there, “me time” is a hot commodity with kids running around and possibly also a hubby to tend to. If and when you can seize it, I applaud you! For my ladies with time on your hands, please use it well. Take some time to look within, have fun, and relax for a minute. Carpe diem!
About a month ago, I embarked on my usual shopping trip to CVS, which included a mini hair haul–of course! Family-sized bottle of Hello Hydration—check! Latest hair accessory—check! However, this time I spotted the infamous Tangle Teezer. I’ve heard about this detangling brush/comb for a long while now but passed on trying it due to poor relations with the Denman Brush.
A little backstory: Years ago, I tried using the Denman D3 and the modified version of the Denman D3 (with rows removed), since many curlies were having great results. At first I fell in love with the way it clumped my hair, but I soon experienced A LOT of hair removal. Granted, my hair was still rehabbing and recovering from heat damage at the time. Still, it was too much hair loss for comfort.
After discussions at hair forums, I picked up the Denman D41, which has wider spaced bristles and is designed for afro textured hair. This worked much better, but I still lost a lot of hair, so I put it down. If you decide to try a Denman, I recommend the D41 or D31. For me, I’ll revisit this brush a little later.
No more teasing. Back to the Tangle Teezer! I stared at it, pondered what our relationship would amount to, gave it the side eye, and then … jumped in! This could either turn into a great love affair, or it can crash and burn. The only way to find out was to try. With curiosity holding onto this cat, I experimented for about two weeks and discovered five ways in which you can use the Tangle Teezer … or your Denman brush (both produced identical results on my curly mane). Oh, and as you may notice below, a little alliteration never hurt anyone!
1.Shed Shredder – Occasionally, my hair will have periods in which it will shed more than usual. This is accompanied by shed hair that catches my healthy strands, snags it, wrestles, produces knots … and has me in a fit! You too? Calm down curlie! While this requires gentle finger work and sometimes the assistance of scissors (sigh). Don’t rip those hairs out of your head!
Above: My Curly Mane styled through a wash ‘n go and Hair Rules Kinky Curling Cream (read my review). Shed hair removed via a Tangle Teezer.
Try This: Hop into the shower and apply a generous amount of conditioner to your hair. Detangle your hair with a wide tooth comb, beginning at the back of your head. I use a comb first because on its own, these bristles are a little rough on my delicate tresses. Your hair may be a little more gangsta and can stand up to all brushes on its own. The only way to find out is to experiment, as always.
When done, whip out the Tangle Teezer (try not to drop this little thing, like I do!) and detangle again. I advise that you gently work your way up your strands, as opposed to brushing your hair from the scalp downwards. This method will aid in removing shed hairs. Just remember to use lots of conditioner.
2.Scalp Survivor – I usually sleep on getting my nails done and focus on my hair instead, but I recently began exploring the wonderful world of gel nail polish. I like to preserve my polish to save money and the style. Hey, a gal’s gotta be thrifty! This is when I really like to use the Tangle Teezer instead of my nails to cleanse my scalp. Here’s what you can do. In the shower, as you’re applying shampoo (optional) and/or conditioner to your hair, take your brush and massage your scalp in circular motions. The Tangle Teezer will do the job of cleaning your scalp, without the assistance of nails. I know. I know. You’re supposed to use your fingertips to wash your scalp, but I haven’t quite weaned myself off of my nails!
3. Dope Detangler – As mentioned above, you can begin the detangling process by using a wide tooth comb first. For some curly girls with tighter textures, like my sister, these brushes work wonders on their own. The Tangle Teezer can tremendously help to simplify this process.
4. Curl Clumper – For some ladies, curls are optional. They prefer poofier, undefined styles. If you like this look, skip this tip. For curl seekers, the Tangle Teezer is your friend. This brush makes curls clump and pop. Unfortunately, it also makes my hair shrriiiink! You can combat this by stretching your hair, using a blow dryer.
5. Style Supporter – As you’re applying products onto your hair, use the Tangle Teezer to aid in the application and removal of excess product. This brush also smooths tresses, which is perfect when doing braid-outs or twist-outs. How so? The Tangle Teezer produces sleeker strands, which helps with manipulating and shaping your hair into styles.
As mentioned, the Tangle Teezer and/or Denman D41 Volumizing Brush don’t have to be used solely for brushing. They can come in handy in other ways. It just may take some play time before you find a technique that works for you.
Are you using a Tangle Teezer or Denman? How are you using it and what have been your results?
Award-winning actress Viola Davis legendarily shocked curlies and non curly headed girls alike when she revealed her beautiful, natural hair during this year’s Oscars. It was a moment that seemly set Hollywood on fire, with several celebs whipping off their wigs, taking out weaves, and putting down flat irons to reveal their curly manes. Let’s count them up. There’s been Raven Symone, Tamera Mowry, Angela Simmons, and recently The Big O–Oprah, among the bunch.
This week, Miss Davis stunned us once more by showcasing her curly mane during the red carpet premiere of her new film, Won’t Back Down. Like her film’s title, Viola is unapologetic when it comes to her hair. On Anderson Live with Anderson Cooper, she discussed her natural hair and struggles with the Hollywood beauty beasts.
“For me, I felt like every time I put on a wig, I was apologizing for who I was, being a dark-skinned woman with very curly hair. I felt like I was hiding it,” says Davis.
Her statements are sad but not new. Historically, in the African-American community, women are taught to hate their hair due to deep-rooted issues dating back to slavery. This negativity festers in families and/or community members. As Viola stated, “there’s not enough time to explain the hair issues” … well, except here at My Curly Mane!
This history, which spans across different lands and cultures, may come as no surprise to you, but the shocker is that we’ve just gotten to the point where celebrities are also supporting the cause, allowing women to know that there is no shame in having naturally curly hair. The kinks, fluff, coils, poof, and all the other variations of our hair is amazing. It’s also appreciated when these celebrities don’t just jump on the bandwagon, but instead, they are willing to address their own issues and the pressures to maintain the images forced upon them. This is beyond just wearing magic hair and wigs for fun or a preferred style. This is about hating your natural hair and those of others and finally coming into self acceptance.
For Viola, she felt as if she wasn’t being authentic by hiding her hair. It sounds as if there was a certain amount of shame associated with it, which many women face. Making this step towards self acceptance on a global platform like the Oscars or any red carpet takes a lot of chutzpah! For myself, I rode the roller coaster ride of hair acceptance before choosing the road less traveled. That path is always the hardest, whether it’s about your hair or simply being authentic to your beliefs, just being yourself.
Do you recall a time when you weren’t being your authentic self? Have you ever hid your hair in shame?
Get This Look
Viola’s hair is tightly curly in one of my fave colors–red. If you have natural hair, you can mirror this look by doing a wash and go. Literally, wash and let your fro go … unless you need assistance through a few products and quick tricks. As always, you can apply a leave-in conditioner and styler to wet hair, twisting your curls into neat formations with your fingers. Once dry, you can leave as is, or gently separate and tug on your hair for more volume.
don’t have to be used solely for brushing. They can come in handy in other ways. It just may take some play time before you find a technique that works for you.
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