by Nay | Jul 20, 2012 | Newly Natural, Uncategorized
Hello newbie! Congratulations on becoming a curly girl. Cue the horns!
Whether you strategically big chopped, cut your hair on a whim, or grew out your curly mane, I commend you on embracing your natural self. This journey will have peaks and valleys as you re-introduce yourself to your natural hair or discover it for the first time. While you embark on this journey, please follow these guidelines on how to care for natural hair. Read them at least twice, and put them into action.
DO
1. Find time to play in your hair. You may have gotten repremanded for this in your youth. No more. You need to explore the twists and bends that make up your hair, and this will take time. I understand that working gals are strapped for time, so please take a minimum of 5 minutes before bed or 10 minutes on the weekends to study your curly mane.
2. Compliment your fellow curlies. I always find it strange that hair hating and competition takes place in our curly community. All girls need a little shout out and affirmation that their hair looks good that day. Pay it forward.
3. Read up on blogs and news about curly hair. It will help you to recognize hair issues such as sensitivity to protein and products, issues you may not have faced before.
4. Nail down a simple routine for a while. This will allow you the time needed to pay attention to your hair as opposed to the products you are using. You will be able to see how your hair reacts to your set product and routine throughout seasons.
5. Be gentle while handling your hair. No ripping combs and brushes through it. You will damage your hair strands.
6. Be patient, and you will achieve your hair goals. Unless you are ailing, all hair, African-American natural hair includes, grows. Period. The trick is to retain the length and health of your growth. With proper care, you will achieve your desired length.
7. Embrace your texture and stop obsessing over hair typing. Yes, we all have different size curls, and one size doesn’t make us have better hair than the other. A lot of us have at least three different textures on our heads. Do not fret. You are normal, and your hair is uniquely fab! Also, please, please note that shrinkage comes with the territory.
8. Get your curly essentials. These include: spray bottle, clips, clarifying shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner, oil/butter, styler (optional), and satin pillow/scarf. Click here to read my detailed explanation of these essential items.
9. Listen to your hair. I say this time and again. If your hair is dry, start moisturizing. If it’s suddenly feeling rough, check your styler. You won’t know what route to take unless you listen to your hair and pay attention to its needs.
10. Embrace and love your hair!
DO NOT
1. Beat yourself up for not looking like another curlie. Each mane is unique, and yours is fine as is.
2. Assume your hair cannot be styled in a certain manner without trying it first. Natural hair is versatile and can look many different ways just through styling techniques.
3. Assume your hair will never grow. You may just be staring at the mirror too long. Step away curlie. Just like my mom always says, “A watched pot does not boil.”
4. Buy every product under the sun. Yep, made this mistake. Try a handful first, experimenting with one product for three days to a full week. Try different styles, utilizing that one product. What may not work on a wash and go may work magic in your braid-outs.
5. Freak out by all the natural hair information that is out there. Instead, slowly digest this information, always going back to study your hair.
6. Force tools and techniques to work. Your hair will let you know if a Denman brush is ripping it out or if a styler is drying it out. Listen to your mane.
7. Listen to negative comments as to why you changed your hair. You made a great decision. Don’t let other people’s negativity affect you.
8. Give up and go back to the creamy crack! Give your hair a chance and time. My hair today is much different from how it was a few years ago. Through time, patience, and care, my hair is stronger and healthier looking than it’s been in a while.
9. Ignore your hair because you are overwhelmed with its new look and feel. Once again, you must breathe and have patience. This is all very new to you. You must realize that it will take time to physically and emotionally adjust to a new version of you.
10. Hide your hair because you feel awkward or different. Put your curly mane on full display. It is yours and only yours. Have no shame at how God made you. Wear it proudly!
by Nay | Jul 19, 2012 | Hair-raising, Uncategorized
The candidate with the best hair always wins” ~ Article in the Huffington Post
A Photoshopped image of Michelle Obama with and without natural hair.
What if a presidential candidate or his/her spouse had natural hair? According to a recent article in the Huffington Post, that candidate would stay as is—a candidate.
Written by my former Columbia University classmate and political commentator, Keli Goff (good job Keli!), the article stresses the importance of appearances and its impact on political aspirations. Candidates’ weight and facial hair are discussed, but the topic of natural hair caught my attention. According to the Huff, not only is the public particular about candidates having the “right” hairdo (helmet hair comes to mind), but they are also anti afros of the Angela Davis kind.
Angela Davis and her signature afro
While authenticity is deemed as trumping all other factors, it is “the candidate with the best hair who wins.” Christine Jahnke, a media trainer who has advised both First Lady Michelle Obama and Senator Al Franken, says, “The wise candidate recognizes that appearances do count — from hair to hemline to heel height.”
The issue of whether or not female candidates and politicians’ spouses can sport curly manes is often debated and spreads into the current job race. Across many hair blogs, women are weighing in on discussions about hair appropriateness for work. Some women have decided to tuck away their curls or straighten their hair for job interviews. Other professionals like Ursula Burns, chairman and CEO of Xerox, have risen through the corporate ranks, proudly sporting an afro. Ah, but it is a shortly cropped ‘fro like Burns’ hair that is deemed as more “attractive,” according to Michael Goldman, a political consultant. It’s short enough to be discreet, without fueling assumptions about race and politics.
Xerox CEO and Chairman Ursula Burns
In the U.S., the number of women who have big chopped or transitioned into wearing their natural hair has increased steadily over the last three years, as evident by the increase in YouTube videos, blogs, and media coverage of African Americans’ natural hair. As much as the natural hair movement appears to be spreading among every day women, it still hasn’t found acceptance in politics.
Nevertheless, let us curlies and non curlies keep hope alive and work towards changing perceptions of the norm, regardless of political views. Remember, it was not too long ago that the idea of having an African American president once seemed far-fetched as well, but we are finally here. Perhaps one day as your favorite show is interrupted by a message from the White House, it will be followed by the image of an afro.
Read the article in the Huffington Post, written by Keli Goff.
Read The Politics of Black Hair: Part II
by Nay | Jul 18, 2012 | Hair-raising, Life Lessons, Uncategorized
As a favor to a friend, I was asked to give advice to a college senior and fellow curly girl (yes!) on the working world and career options in the field of communications. After sharing my thoughts, it had me thinking about the journey we call life (bare with me for a moment).
I believe that part of our life lessons is to find, accept (for good and bad), and learn from ourselves throughout our different phases and stages. It may sound simplistic and easy for some of you to achieve. I commend you! For others, it’s a lifelong struggle between pleasing people by acting in accordance to their standards and being authentic to ourselves. This spans our career choices, how we present ourselves to others, and what we say about ourselves.
As a people pleaser, I often find myself questioning whether I’ve agreed with someone because I truly concurred with their thoughts or if it was expected of me and makes that person feel better knowing that I don’t challenge their thoughts. It’s as if some influencers–loved ones, friends, and acquaintances–are dangling a box in which a mold has already been cast.
Now, I will advise you as I advised this young lady. Whenever you’re presented the mold, step away! If not, you will miss the opportunity to live a fulfilling life and achieve success doing what is in your element, what God has gifted you to do. It is your choice to forge your own path and embrace your true self.
I too struggle with this, so I’m reminding both of us today. Let us repeat Uta Hagen’s words and remember to overcome the notion that we must be regular. Yes, let your freak flag fly!
Have you been forced into a mold? Have you broken free of it? Please share your story.
by Nay | Apr 23, 2012 | Uncategorized
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Ultimately, you can learn about my adventures with having naturally curly hair and how other naturals can navigate through their wild kingdom!
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